As the Eye Can See

## As the Eye Can See *A short story about the day before Halloween.* [[Begin]].

## October 30th, 2024. Sitting under the yellow of the last cottonwood on the acre. An orange haze on the horizon. Never-ending farmland. The darkening evening sky. It's hide-and-seek, or something close enough like it. I said, let's play it this way. One of us will stand here at the entrance, they can keep the map, and the rest of us will go out into the maze. The last person to get caught wins. You can walk, but not run. We decided May would go first, so she closed her eyes and turned around and started counting before any of us were even ready. [[Five minutes pass]], I think.

And then another five minutes pass. It's cold out, I'm not dressed for this weather, and I forgot to take my allergy medication. Little patches of hives start to form on the back of my hands. Of all the days in the month, I can't remember why we decided to come here today, on the Wednesday before Halloween. Looking back. Trails of smoke climbing from the campfires. Floodlights, brighter than the setting sun, watching over the parking lot. There are no stars. It's quiet, but noisy. Maybe in just [[another minute]].

I like hide and seek. I'm good at it and I usually win. The moon is out. A small, blurry object, peeping in and out, playing its own hide-and-seek. Not nearly as bright as the floodlights. I can't stop scratching the backs of my hands. I wish the hives away as if that would do anything. Maybe in [[another two]].

I check my phone. I got a text from May. My fingers are stiff when I try to pull up the message. *you win, meet back at the start* Standing up. Trying to clear the dust from my pants. I chose black this morning, a poor mistake. I leave the cottonwood [[behind]].

Too sentimental for my own good, I turn around and take my phone out. I have to tap twice to turn it on and three more times to take the photo. It's a nice enough picture. The yellow of the cottonwood is picking up some light, from where exactly I'm not sure. The leaves seem to glow, just a little. I like this tree quite a bit. I remember coming here last year and thinking the same thing. The curl of its branches and the smoothness of its bark. That's why I like it. Enough is enough, I have to tell myself. It's time to [[go back]].

## October 30th, 2022. Summer lasted too long year this year, so I guess it's only fitting that winter would come early. I'm doing my geometry homework at the kitchen table. It's taking longer than normal. The wind outside is loud and I keep getting [[distracted]].

The snow is falling hard and fast and sideways. It's too dark to make most of it out, but if I focus on any one of the streetlights, I can see the little black patches moving across and the little white streaks darting around underneath. It's been a while since I've gone out in the cold. I tell myself to stop letting my thoughts wander. I ran the numbers earlier and each of these assignments is worth roughly three points of the final grade. I can't let myself mess up [[too many of them]].

Dad told me that I need to stop worrying about these things. He's wrong, of course. He doesn't know how any of this stuff works. We're learning about angles in geometry. A line intersects two parallel lines. Another line intersects all three of those. Again and again ad nauseam. Even with the pictures in front of me it's a challenge to make out what's actually happening. Dad comes by to wish me goodnight. *Goodnight.* *[[Goodnight]], I love you.*

The assignment is finished. Maybe not done, but finished. It's a little before midnight now. I've gotten into a habit of pacing around the kitchen before going to bed. It's not a nervous thing. It helps keep me moving, especially in winter. Putting my ear up against the kitchen window. It's quiet outside and I can't seem to get the idea out of my head. I tell myself, I'll go out, but just for [[one minute]].

It's [[beautiful]], really.

But it's also cold. I go back [[inside]] when the minute is over.

And yet, my mind is still out there, even when my body is warm under the combined pressure of two blankets. I tap my phone. 12:07. It's [[Halloween]].

## October 30th, 2019. A feeling that tomorrow will be my last time out trick-or-treating, at least for a while. I already miss it, even if I know that's ridiculous. This year, I'm a witch. I try the costume on after school. I don't know. It's [[fine]].

The girl on the package looks warm, but I'm not. I have to layer the costume over a sweater. It looks weird and not in a good way. The school won't get upset over it, at least. Last year was too much of a fuss, they said, so they tightened the rules. I can't even wear a hat. I like the costume a little more with the hat. I wonder if anyone else will be a witch. Last year, there were a lot of funny costumes. The best ones were done in groups. I don't know. I don't think the same thing would happen two years in a row. I want to scrap the whole thing and [[start over]].

There's still a little time. A few hours at least. I think I'll ask Dad if we can go out and find a different one. Dad's office is just [[down the hall]].

Dad opens the door before I get the chance to knock. *Where's the hat?* *They aren't letting us wear hats this year.* *Oh, well. Tomorrow night you can wear your hat, if you want.* Dad walks past me. I try to remember [[what I had to say]].

*Can I change my costume?* *Why, do you not like it?* *No. I don't think so.* *Oh, come here. [[It's going to be ok tomorrow]].*

Last year I was going to be a princess, again. The costume was pretty good. It wasn't my favorite, but my favorites were all getting a bit too small. I was the only girl [[that day]] dressed as a princess.

Her name was Dakota. She had been in my grade for a few years. We even had the same teachers a few times. I didn't really know Dakota, but I didn't need to. I can't remember exactly what she had said to me, or [[why]].

I also can't [[remember why|I don't know]] I started crying. Or why I couldn't stop.

## October 30th, 2015. Adjusting the crown on my head. A parade of pink bows and ribbons. A skirt of soft fabrics and bright glitters. Excessively large shoulders. Shaking my arms around to watch the little tassels move. A car drive that seems to take the whole afternoon. Mom told me that today I'd become a [[princess]].

Sitting on a great throne in a chamber, tall and wide and lined with white columns. Walking the length of a golden hall, painted monarchs watching each other from across the room. Colors I could only dream to describe. Looking out from the highest perch of the balcony at the furthest points of the kingdom, as far as the eye can see, the world with me at its center. It sounds nice. Nothing at all like a [[car ride]] on a bumpy dirt road from behind the tightness of a seatbelt.

*We're almost there, ok?* [[Mom's voice|voice dots]].

My dad has a few videos of that day. None from in the car, of course. He was driving. I was watching them back recently. They were filmed on a nice digital camera, but the visuals didn't stand out to me. It was her voice. I had forgotten [[her voice]].

[[...|dots]]

*We're here! Aren't you excited?* Thinking that maybe this is my kingdom, my castle, my home. Of course it was far away. A place worthy of the treachery to reach. Entering the sprawl of the carnival before reaching the maze. Tall strands of bronze plants reaching towards the sun. Careful not to get the dirt on my dress. My guards beside me, asking [[which way to go]].

A left, then a right, then another right. Knowing this place like the pattern on my skirt. And at its end, the [[castle]].

[[...]]

Looking over the films again now, there was no castle. The crops were all damaged by hail that year, too. You could see through the maze from any angle. But still, there's [[something pretty|pretty dots]] about how it looked then.

Walking around the grounds of the castle. Dad asking to take some photos and videos of me and Mom. Finding a nice spot at the edge of the kingdom. A tree that could pierce the clouds. A funny kind of curl to its branches as it waves hello. Sitting against it, its smooth bark holding me upright. [[My throne]].

[[...|Mom's voice]]

[[...|something pretty]]

[[...|afterwards]]

I can't recall much of what happened next. Dad put his camera away after that and I can't find it in me to ask. But if I had to take I guess, I think I went home a bit dazed by the whole thing. I'm sure I believed it for some time. Maybe I even threw a tantrum after being told I had to leave my castle. Maybe I got dirt on my dress, on purpose, without purpose. I was a princess again the next day, but not for [[much longer]] after that.

A dress in the back of the closet. Placing the hat on my bedside table. Hearing quiet nothings on a silent winter wind. Running back to the start of the bronze maze. [[Until next time]].

*The End.* *Happy Halloween,* *Sky*